Blah

Haven't felt much like writing this past week. It's been a gloomy one for me and sometimes I have to retreat when this happens. Life is good by all appearances but there are certain things that affect me deeply and the major one is when my family and friends are in pain. I found out early in the week that a very old friend from Seattle who I spent some really important and pivotal points in my life with had died from the very thing that he fought for so many years, drugs and alcohol. He had many successes but the addiction was always so strong. He left two grown kids and a wife (one of my oldest and dearest friends). It's really their pain that I feel, but the addiction brought them down too.....not personally, but through their dad. They are a strong family and they will be ok. They had already separated somewhat from the addiction. You really have to if you are going to survive. The bright light in all this is that I reconnected with my old friend and that feels really good. I don't think either one of us have really changed much in the last ten years and we're going to spend some time together in September. My friend's life was literally torn apart in the last three years by her husband's addiction and she put physical distance between them, but still after 26 years of marriage there's a lot of pain.

I believe that I've just felt grief this past week and it's going to take a little time to regroup. I did what I usually do when I feel down, got my hair done. Sounds superficial but it did make me feel better. I get a lot of comfort from being at home with Bruce and Teddy and Niko. I love our life together and can't wait to get started on the house. We're getting really close now. I need to make plans to see my boys and grandkids. I miss them so much. I want them to share this beautiful place with me. My sister is coming down soon too, for the first time. It will be so much fun. I can't wait to show her San Carlos. I just know she's going to love it here and that's why I want her to get here soon. I can see her painting the mountains. The mountains here are so her style!

We had a wonderful storm Friday night; lots of wind and thunder and lightning and surprise, surprise, rain. Rain started pouring through the front door. That's really good to know so we can have the big towels ready for rainy season. The storms really do come out of nowhere here. I can see where it can be dangerous boating. You definitely need to be prepared.

So now I'm back in the groove. I really have to try harder to turn off my mind, but after all these years, I don't think I can, but life does go on and it is good.